"Last is just the slowest winner" - C. Hunter Boyd

Running gives you a lot of time to think. On my last run, I was thinking about why I have found enjoyment in something that for so long made me cringe. Let's be honest here. Six months ago if you would have asked me if I looked forward to running, I would have given you a resounding "Hell No!" Since that time, as I have progressed and run a few races, I have to admit, I kinda enjoy it.

The big question for me is - Why? Why have I started to enjoy it? To me, running isn't relaxing, sometimes I'm sore when I get done, it makes me really hungry, it makes me sweat, running outfits don't look that cute on me, it costs money, it takes a lot of time, it demands that I get up early on the weekends... my list can go on and on.

However, it is all up to me. I am competing against myself and no matter what, I win. That's why I enjoy running so much. In all other aspects of my life, although my success or failure was or is attributable in large part to me, its never entirely up to me. In law school, my classes were graded on a curve. I could study my heart out and still make that B because the professor could only give 5 As. In my career, I can work hard every day, but if my clients can't afford to engage me for the work or some other firm comes in with a cheaper bid, I can't do anything about that. In my marriage or friendships, its not just up to me, my husband or friends also have to want to have the relationship.

But with running, its different. It is all up to me. I will succeed or fail based upon what I put into it. Sure, there will be days when it is so hot outside that I cannot possibly run the 5 miles my training plan has dictated I run. But I view the fact that I even have a training plan as an achievement. Sure, I will never be one of those "elite runners" that get to line up at the front of the start group and finish before I'm even half way though the course. But at least I sign up for the race, show up, and finish. That is an achievement.

After every race I always check my race results. I have to know, what was my official time? what was my pace? where did I finish in relation to everyone else? I've come to the realization however, that looking up my results, while exciting to see my progress, is completely unnecessary. Regardless of where I finish, I won.

So the next time someone asks me if I honestly enjoy running, although you won't hear a "Hell Yes!" from me, you also won't hear a "Hell No!" Because I do enjoy running. My success is all up to me. I may finish last and I'm ok with that. It just means I'm the slowest winner.