When I was in high school there was this mean tradition for the Senior Class to write a will to the Junior Class. This will was read out loud at the Junior-Senior Prom. What did the Senior Class will me?
A box of Kleenex, water proof mascara and a real reason to cry.
Here I am 16 years later and I still remember that will, word for word. And guess what? It was true. I was a crybaby in high school. I still am. Who cares? Although I will say that I've learned to control those tears - no more moments where I cry in front of people that will later embarrass me or make fun of me in public (yeah, I'm talking about you Senior Class of '93).
In my quest to run this marathon, I've reached more milestones in the last few months than I had in the past three years. Each time, that milestone brought me to tears.
On Saturday, February 21, I woke up with a determination to run 5 miles. I'd never run 5 miles in my life. My husband and I drove out to Burke Lake Park - a local park with a lake. This lake had a 5 mile trail around it and I was determined that I would run that trail and complete the 5 miles in one hour. That would give me a 12 minute mile pace. I could do it ... and I did it. Once I finished, I ran over to the car, got in and immediately started crying. I could not believe that I ran 5 miles without stopping. Me - a totally un-athletic person. I had not felt this sense of accomplishment since I passed the bar exam. The tears were falling and I did not care. I was so proud of myself.
Not too many months later I doubled that distance and ran my first 10 miler. At mile 9 I realized it, I was going to do this! I would finish this race, which meant I will have run farther than I ever had before. At mile 9.5 the impact of the moment hit me. I thought about my sister-in-law, Amy. I thought about how I was running this for her. I thought about how she would never again have the opportunity to complete a race. I thought about how unfair that was. I thought about how I would continue to run races since she could not. At mile 9.8 I started to cry. As I crossed the finish line, I saw my husband there cheering me on and smiling and the flood gates opened.
Why was I crying? Because I had accomplished something that I never ever thought was possible. I was crying because it was bittersweet. I so wanted to call Amy and tell her that I did it. I know that somewhere, she was watching and was as proud of me as I was.
As I run my races building up to Disney, I am sure there will be lots of tears shed (don't even get me started about the tears I cried at the Susan G. Komen National Race for the Cure). I welcome those tears. These tears each mark an amazing accomplishment and honor an amazing woman, Amy Ellis Oliver. I'm proud of those accomplishments and those tears and I'm not afraid to show it.
So hey, Senior Class of '93 - I'll take those Kleenex and that waterproof mascara. I have a real reason to cry.
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